The morning of...

9 Month Belly

Jaxon showing his excitement about becoming a big brother today.

Aliya Juel's Birth Day

We went to the hospital Monday morning at 9 AM. I was already dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced so my midwife broke my water and wanted to wait and see if I would progress without any pitocin. No such luck, so at 11 I got started on Pitocin. At 1 PM my contractions were 2 minutes apart still so I asked for an epidural. I was in no hurry for it, I figured it would be another few hours so was just planning for when it got really uncomfortable. The anesthesiologist had someone ahead of me and so it took a little bit. I was still smiling and laughing in between contractions until about 1 minute before the anesthesiologist came in. It hit me like a brick wall. My contractions were unbelievably painful and I didn't feel like a was getting a break between them anymore. The Dr was explaining the procedure for the epidural and I had to sign something. I just remember I could hardly hold the pen and I was just moaning with pain. The Dr. had me roll on my side and then the pain came even worse. I could feel her head and told them I had to push. He pushed my leg down and told me to give him 5 minutes and to not push. So with everything I had in me I laid still and rubbed Jer's hands and just kept saying "Owie". Yes, I am a mom, of all words I could use I chose owie. I was saying it rather quiet because if I was too loud it made the pain worse. The Dr. told me I would start to feel warm, that I did and then I could feel a thing. I was NUMB. They rolled me on my back and said it was time to push. All I could do was laugh. How was I ever gonna push when I could feel my lower half of my body? I grunted and made the noises like you always see when women push. I would stop and say, "am I pushing?" Apparently I was because her head was out. I pushed two more times to get her shoulders out and the midwife had me reach down to catch my baby and put her on my chest. It was very fast and absolutely amazing. The anesthesiologist ended up giving me a spinal block instead of an epidural so that it would hit hard and fast. I am so glad I got it, even if I only needed it for two minutes. It was worth it. It took a few hours to slowly get my feeling back. 

Tomorrow is the day!

One more day as a family of 3. AAAHHHH!! We are very excited to welcome Aliya Juel to our family tomorrow. It seems unreal to me that I am going to have a baby tomorrow. We are hoping everything runs smooth. Pics and details to follow. Thanks for everyones support and calls during my pregnancy.

11 days to go... at the most

I want to THANK everyone that has called and emailed to see how I am doing and offer the support to me and to take Jaxon. All is going well, except the fact that I can not carry Jaxon and it hurts me to walk. My hip has been giving me a lot of pain and discomfort. I have reflected and try not to complain, but it has been really hard when it hurts with every step. I know the most important thing here is to get Aliya Juel baked and ready to enter this world. I went to my midwife this morning and am dilated to a 2 and 60% effaced. She put me on the schedule to be induced on June 1. She hopes that since we scheduled it that I will go on my own. I have to admit that I am scared to go into labor on my own since I was induced with both my previous deliveries, but hope that I do start naturally. My midwife says my uterus is measuring small??? She said not to worry, just expect to have a smaller baby than Jaxon. 

We have been preparing Jaxon for Aliya Juel to join our family. He has enjoyed feeling her move and watching her have the hiccups. He has asked to call her on the telephone. Recently we have started to prepare him that she is coming out of my tummy and gonna come home. He is excited to help and shows me how he is gonna hold her. The past few mornings he has woken up and asked if Aliya is still in my tummy. Last night we went to a sibling class. I am really glad we went. They covered some rules for the new baby..,

1. Always wash your hands before you touch the baby.

2. Sit down to hold the baby on your lap.

3. ALWAYS ask before you do anything that involves the baby.

He put a diaper on his baby Elmo, wrapped him up in a blanket, and practiced holding him. Jaxon was so well behaved and payed attention to every word the nurse said. It was like he was in school and didn't want to miss a single thing. After we got to go on a tour of Labor and Delivery and the nursery. Jaxon was very proud to get to go. He is very excited. I know that he is going to be a wonderful big brother and help me out a lot. He is the sweetest boy. 

Jer and I are very excited to have a little girl and to expand our family. Thanks for everything!

Krissie

October 15, 2004

Summer 2007

4th of July 2007

Summer 2004. Em, Krissie and Dylan (not Jaxon, I promise)

Krissie has to write a report on her life and asked me to fill in the blanks. She had to do it interview style so I just copied my side. I am posting it here for documentation reasons. WOW! Lots of emotions were flowing. As I am about to have another daughter this was a very emotional thing to write about. Lots of walking away so that Jaxon didn't think I was too sad. I am so lucky for all of the support I have had from my family and friends over the past 14 years. I am amazed that she will be 13 in June. Krissie is an amazing young lady and I am so lucky to have her in my life still . I know that I made the right decision 13 years ago, not to say it makes it any easier. Mother's Day is still hard for me even though I get recognized now. Just one of those things. Krissie is hoping to come out and visit this summer so that she can meet her little sister. I HOPE that she gets too. It would be so much fun to be able to have all 3 of my kids together, even if for just a short time. WARNING... May make you cry.

Krissie you were born on June 24, 1996 at 5:03 PM, weighing in at 7 pounds 3 ounces and was 20 1/4 inches long. You were born at **** to Emily Bradley.
I was induced on this day so that your family could prepare for their trip to come pick you up. I was lucky and got to pick your family for you. I feel like I picked your family because you belonged to them... enough said. They were so excited to come and meet you.
My mom and I went to the hospital early Monday morning to get induced. I knew I wanted an epidural because I wanted to be relaxed and have this be a calm and very positive experience. My time with you was limited so I didn't want to be exhausted. I was induced around 9 am and given an epidural around 11. I took a nap and hung out with my mom and sister Elizabeth. We were laughing and trying to make light of the situation. I called my little sister at 5 Pm and told her to come to the hospital because you were about to be born. She couldn't believe I was so happy being the fact that I was about to push a baby out. I pushed twice and out you came. You were perfect from the moment I saw you. I stayed in the hospital for three days and requested no contact from your family or the adoption agency. I have to admit I was jealous of them and wanted 3 days just you and me. They knew you were safe. For the next few days I held you and loved you, lots of family and friends visited during this time. You are an angel and everyone wanted to meet you before you left for Texas with your family. I will always remember those three days. I am so lucky to still have you in my life and to know that you are with the family you were meant to be with. I love you so much and am so happy to see you with your family and how wonderful of a young woman you have turned into.
I named you Siera Jane because I loved the name Siera and Jane because that is my middle name. When I first met your family they told me your name would be Kristen Alexis. When I saw them a few days later they told me they decided to name you Kristen Siera. I am so grateful they kept a little of your name.
I cried the whole way to the adoption agency and when we got there I took you in a private room before I signed all of my parental rights away. Whoa! I knew that this was going to probably (hopefully) be the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my entire life. I talked to you and told you why I was placing you for adoption. Ultimately it was because of how much I loved you. I wanted you to have the life you deserved and knew that I could not provide you with everything that you deserved. For a minute there I started to change my mind. I got a comforting feeling and knew that your family was in the other room and very anxious to meet you. So I went in the other room and signed all the paperwork. We then had a formal ceremony in which we met your family, listened to songs and I handed you to your mother. It was so hard for me to turn and walk away but had no doubt that this was the right story for your life. I didn't know when I would see you again. I got a call a few days later inviting me to spend time with your brothers birth family. It was so much fun to get to know your parents and be able to spend more time with you. On the 4th of July we took you to the parade in ****, little did we know that this would become a tradition of ours. I cherish these memories.
The first year was hard. It was hard for me to miss your first smile, not to be recognized on my first mother's day, and many other days just because I missed you. But, I was also at peace knowing that you were where you belonged. I am also so lucky that I was invited out to Texas to celebrate your first birthday with you. I asked my sister Elizabeth to join me. A few days before I was supposed to leave my grandmother passed away. This was a hard decision but I knew that since my grandma was adopted herself that she would want me to be with you. My family decided to postpone the funeral a few days so that Elizabeth and I could be with you on your first birthday. I was very nervous to see you again. I feared you would not recognize me and that would have broken my heart. I told Elizabeth that if you cried when you saw me that we were turning around and getting right back on the plane. Well we walked off and when we saw ya'll (Texas style) you reached for me. That made me so happy, it's like you remembered me. I was so happy!!! We had a wonderful time just hanging out with you. Elizabeth and I dressed you up in lots of clothes and took a ton of pictures. It was like we were trying to cram a years worth of memories into a few short days. The visit was short but it was just what I needed to confirm to me that you were in the right place and that your family was meant to be.
The next few years we met you annually in different camping locations in and around ****. We got to visit ****, and other remote locations together. Your family has been so generous in coming to Utah to visit my family. We all love and miss you so it is a nice treat to have you visit.
On October 15, 2004 you were my flower girl at my wedding with my niece Aspen. It was such a special time to have you and your mom with me on a very special day of mine. You looked absolutely beautiful. Everyone was so excited to meet you and couldn't believe how much we looked alike. I love that, but I also love that when I am not around you look like your family. The best of both worlds. Jer and I went to Europe on our honeymoon and had a layover in Dallas. You and your family stopped by for a quick visit and a few pictures. It was short, but sweet. I will never pass up an opportunity to see you or your family.
Summer of 2007 you and your dad came to visit and meet your new little brother. It was so fun to have you visit. We took lots of pictures of the two of you and went to the top of the tram at **** resort. It has been fun to see you grow up over the years. I hope to get to see you again soon. I am proud of all of your accomplishments in life and am so lucky that I get be a part of your life. I love you!!

Jaxon is always cracking us up!

Just a few of the funny things Jaxon has said and done in the past few weeks...

*While sticking his little tummy out

"Mommy your tummy BIG, Jaxon's tummy small"

*He loves calling people

J:"Mama I want to call Aliya Juel"

M:"Sorry bud she is in my tummy we can't call her for a few more days. Let's call daddy"

J: "OHHHHH" 

*Jax told me he needed a tissue so I sent him to the bathroom to get himself one. Come on I am 9 months pregnant, I don't want to move unless it is really necassarry. He came back in the room...

"Mama, I got a big tissue"

Yes, he never ripped it and was just pulling the toilet paper. When I started to laugh he laughed as well and ripped off a little piece and started to return the extra toilet paper back into the bathroom. I was so proud and grateful... Until I heard the toilet flush. I knew exactly what this meant. I moved faster than the average very pregnant woman to avoid a clogged toilet. Yes, h had started to flush the toilet paper that was still attached to the roll. Good thing I moved fast, I was able to break the toilet paper and prevent the whole roll from going down. Jaxon was so proud that he had done it all himself so I gave him a huge smile and hug. He keeps me smiling. 

*Jaxon is getting very excited to have a little sister. He likes to show me how he is going to hold her and read to her. He also likes to guess where her toes and nose are in my tummy. He kisses my tummy and rubs it constantly. I am so excited to see him as a big brother. Aliya Juel couldn't ask for a better one. 

*Last night Jax and I were in the tub and we were putting his foam letters on the wall. When he picks up a letter he says the letter and then a word that begins with that letter. Well he picked up the letter Z

"Z... hong Z, hong Z" he pretended to snore and say Z. It was so cute.

*I love Jaxon so much!!! He is the light of my world, it has been so much fun to hang out with him all day for the last few weeks of being an only child. 

On another note. Jer left to go out of town for work today. That means that his mom, my mom and him are all out of town this week. God thing I have a sister and sister-in-law close by to help with Jaxon and I when I go into labor. I only say this because isn't this how life works? I hope not. I want her to cook at least until May 25. My mom is coming to spend the weekend with Jax and I for the weekend to alleviate both of our stresses of me going in labor in the middle of the night with no one here. Jer gets home on Sunday then Aliya is more than welcome to join us after that. If not It will only be one more week. I can not believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. We are excited to meet Miss Aliya Juel.

???

Today Jaxon and I sewed away. He helped push the peddle while I guided and told him when to stop. This was a success because he loves helping and I love having him be involved so that I can get my things done and not neglect him. We made a sling, hooter hider, and a bunch of cute burp cloths. Just another thing to pass the time.

My hip has been really hurting the past two weeks which has been frustrating. Nothing like not being able to go out and about to pass the last few weeks of pregnancy. It is frustrating, but I am feeling more optimistic today. After having a breakdown to my mom, sister, and sister-in-law, I know I need to be patient. It just feels good to let it out to females that can sympathize. I am not really in a hurry to get Aliya Juel out. I am icing and heating my hip for hours a day in hopes to help me be more comfortable for the last 19 days. I will be induced on June 1 if I have not had her before then. I am happy with this date because Jer, my mom, and mother-in-law will all be back in town and Aliya will be completely baked. So for the next 3 weeks Jaxon and I will be doing lots of crafts inside and trying not too push myself too much, which is hard when I am not working and I have a little guy and a house to keep up. I appreciate all the offers for help from my family, I will take you up on it...I promise.